So long April...

Wow. Can anyone stop the train of time? John Mayer wrote a song about this very subject...

Don't know how else to say it, don't
want to see my parents go

One generation's length awayfrom
fighting life out on my own

Come on stop this train, I want to get
off and go home again

I can't take the speed it's moving in I
know I can but honestly won't someone stop this train?

So afraid of getting older I'm only good
at being young

So I play the numbers game to find a way
to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man, said help me
understand

He said turn 68 you'll
renegotiate

Don't stop this train, don't follow it
moves the place you're in

I don't think I could ever underst and I
tried my hand

John, honestly we'll never stop this
train

But I'm headed somewhere out of this world! Why would I want to stop this train? Last month my youngest brother turned 16, and on the day before his birthday he tried to stab himself in the chest while he was in class. This landed him at a mental hospital for the second time of his life. He's on four different kinds of medication. One of the meds he is taking is for bipolar disorder/seizures. My brother does not suffer from either of these conditions. Told mom about the side effects of the medications. She wasn't aware of them. Mom, dad and my brother don't know the Lord yet. How do I pray? God, please restrain my brother in Your common grace from doing anything even more dangerous. Open their eyes so they may see! So all this month, this was heavy on my heart. Especially after the shooting at Virginia Tech. Fear gripped me.

Then I went to God's Word and read about Joshua, and how the LORD prepared and encouraged him before he went to battle "...just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you." I read about Jesus' call to repent in Luke chapter 13 as was reminded to keep praying for mom, dad and Joey as well as all the families affected by what took place at V-Tech. And at church I heard a sermon that reminded me of God's backpack of unlimited provision "seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory" (2 Peter 3:3). I thought about God's unending love, care and compassion. I wept. I thank God for Pastor Rick Holland who at one point in his sermon last Sunday said "Put God between you and your anxiety." I was left speechless. With Job I ask, "Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?" He works all things together for good. "Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him. For the help of His presence. (Psalm 42:5). I have hope! :)